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James Copley's avatar

Very well done battle scene, good use of confusion and misdirection, often underplayed in most stories.

One note, in conversation starting here:

“There’s a village, old one of stone, not far from here”

Galloping horses are loud, not to mention the rushing wind, yet the characters are seemingly having a normal voiced conversation. Add description of having to shout over the noise of their passage, or change uses of “said” to “yelled”, “called”, “shouted” or similar adjectives for primary statements. Replies and responses to those will be assumed to be the same volume, so no changes needed to them. The exception is “spat”, that one fits perfectly as it is.

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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

Separately, J.M. Elliott has written a novel called “Of Winds and Wolves” that is on Substack that is incredible and very well done. It’s based on a close reading of Herodotus and is about the warriors on the steppes of Central Asia in the Iron Age.

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