Very well done battle scene, good use of confusion and misdirection, often underplayed in most stories.
One note, in conversation starting here:
“There’s a village, old one of stone, not far from here”
Galloping horses are loud, not to mention the rushing wind, yet the characters are seemingly having a normal voiced conversation. Add description of having to shout over the noise of their passage, or change uses of “said” to “yelled”, “called”, “shouted” or similar adjectives for primary statements. Replies and responses to those will be assumed to be the same volume, so no changes needed to them. The exception is “spat”, that one fits perfectly as it is.
Separately, J.M. Elliott has written a novel called “Of Winds and Wolves” that is on Substack that is incredible and very well done. It’s based on a close reading of Herodotus and is about the warriors on the steppes of Central Asia in the Iron Age.
I’m really enjoying this story and I like the original art you’re producing to go along with it. On several levels it reminds me of Colleen McCullough’s series on the Roman Republic. If you haven’t read it yet, I would recommend getting a copy of “First Man in Rome”. It includes maps she drew, along with an index and several illustrations of the characters in her novel that she sketched out. It’s an epic series and I think the creators of the HBO series “Rome” were influenced by it. It focuses on Sulla, Marius and the transformation of the Roman army from a ragtag band of mercenaries to what it would become by the time of Julius Caesar.
I had a feeling that the fight was going too well for Lothan's side. Glad the Ostalori decided to join in the end, but what a heavy price... That action was nice and viceral: screaming horses, crunching bone, splinting ash spears. Grand description all over.
Very well done battle scene, good use of confusion and misdirection, often underplayed in most stories.
One note, in conversation starting here:
“There’s a village, old one of stone, not far from here”
Galloping horses are loud, not to mention the rushing wind, yet the characters are seemingly having a normal voiced conversation. Add description of having to shout over the noise of their passage, or change uses of “said” to “yelled”, “called”, “shouted” or similar adjectives for primary statements. Replies and responses to those will be assumed to be the same volume, so no changes needed to them. The exception is “spat”, that one fits perfectly as it is.
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
You're right, the conversation tags should be different, thanks for the suggestion. 🙂
Separately, J.M. Elliott has written a novel called “Of Winds and Wolves” that is on Substack that is incredible and very well done. It’s based on a close reading of Herodotus and is about the warriors on the steppes of Central Asia in the Iron Age.
Sounds excellent, will check it out. Thanks!
I’m really enjoying this story and I like the original art you’re producing to go along with it. On several levels it reminds me of Colleen McCullough’s series on the Roman Republic. If you haven’t read it yet, I would recommend getting a copy of “First Man in Rome”. It includes maps she drew, along with an index and several illustrations of the characters in her novel that she sketched out. It’s an epic series and I think the creators of the HBO series “Rome” were influenced by it. It focuses on Sulla, Marius and the transformation of the Roman army from a ragtag band of mercenaries to what it would become by the time of Julius Caesar.
Glad to hear you're enjoying the story and the art! I underestimated how long it would take for me to draw stuff but it's been good fun so far 😂
I haven't read it but have seen it crop up as books to read. Will hunt a copy down. Thanks!
I had a feeling that the fight was going too well for Lothan's side. Glad the Ostalori decided to join in the end, but what a heavy price... That action was nice and viceral: screaming horses, crunching bone, splinting ash spears. Grand description all over.
Glad to hear you liked it and that the descriptions worked, thanks!
A very heavy price indeed.