I like this, Oscar. It's hopeful...and hopefully...the beginning of something? As a serial, it's the perfect "cliffhanger" finish. The reader wants to know what's going to happen. You've given just enough so that the reader can sort things out. I like how you held back that they were brothers. It's great. It's different from your other stuff, and maybe I like that, too? The length seems perfect as well. How many words is that? But do follow this up. And announce it. That's what the Notes are for.
(On a side note, I've always liked the name Oscar. I used to work with a guy named Oscar, and his name always reminded me of Oscapar Blacktooth, a Viking bad guy out of H. Rider Haggard's "Eric Brighteyes", from when I was in my late twenties. I haven't seen another copy since.)
Thank you! Of the One Shots this is the one that lends itself most to a serial and I have wanted to write something longer, again. This seems like a good opportunity to do so.
This is 881 words, very short for me but that is what it became after a couple of edits (mostly adding too).
Oscapar Blacktooth is an incredible name, very villainous.
Seems to be a start of something. Lots of open threads to pull on. How do they travel? Where are they from? How did Ilian get to this place? And more... good stuff.
I think so. The story was meant to be this conversation but it has outgrown itself and now there many avenues it can go down. I would be remiss NOT to make it a serial. Keep an eye out :)
I like this, Oscar. It's hopeful...and hopefully...the beginning of something? As a serial, it's the perfect "cliffhanger" finish. The reader wants to know what's going to happen. You've given just enough so that the reader can sort things out. I like how you held back that they were brothers. It's great. It's different from your other stuff, and maybe I like that, too? The length seems perfect as well. How many words is that? But do follow this up. And announce it. That's what the Notes are for.
(On a side note, I've always liked the name Oscar. I used to work with a guy named Oscar, and his name always reminded me of Oscapar Blacktooth, a Viking bad guy out of H. Rider Haggard's "Eric Brighteyes", from when I was in my late twenties. I haven't seen another copy since.)
Thank you! Of the One Shots this is the one that lends itself most to a serial and I have wanted to write something longer, again. This seems like a good opportunity to do so.
This is 881 words, very short for me but that is what it became after a couple of edits (mostly adding too).
Oscapar Blacktooth is an incredible name, very villainous.
Seems to be a start of something. Lots of open threads to pull on. How do they travel? Where are they from? How did Ilian get to this place? And more... good stuff.
I think so. The story was meant to be this conversation but it has outgrown itself and now there many avenues it can go down. I would be remiss NOT to make it a serial. Keep an eye out :)