A Conspiracy of Bones
Hello Dear Reader,
I wrote the following story based on the Fictionistas June Prompt. Thanks to them for hosting “The Great Substack Prompt Celebration”. My story is 1000 words, right on the limit. Enjoy!
The prompt:
Your dog has dug a large hole in your backyard and is losing their mind about what’s inside. You look in the hole and know instantly that you will be on the news.
‘Cooper’s barked for half an hour, you should probably check on him,’ Jill said.
‘He’s fine,’ Mark opened another twenty minute video. A day off meant a day off.
‘Well,’ the curtain twitched. ‘He’s dug a massive hole. Completely ruined the lawn and flowers. Go deal with him.’
Mark tapped the pause button, ‘Fine.’ He hurtled down the stairs and pulled on his trainers. ‘Stupid dog,’ Mark stepped out back. Cooper leapt up at him, tail wagging, licking Mark’s hand. Cooper headed towards his hole, halted halfway and looked back, barking once. ‘Alright,’ Mark sighed. The garden was done for. The hole was ten feet wide, a mess of petals and flowers were strewn across the lawn amidst piles of earth. A glint of yellowed-white appeared in the dirt. Cooper dove in, a spray of soil slapped Mark’s arm. ‘Cooper! Out.’
The dog didn’t listen. ‘Cooper!’ Mark reached the edge of the hole, ‘Oh, shit.’ Buried in the dirt was a massive bone, over a foot wide and who knew how long. Cooper pawed at the far end of the hole, near the fence. ‘Cooper,’ Mark whistled and the dog stood to attention, barked, and leapt out of the hole. Mark snapped a few photos with his phone. ‘I’m gonna need a shovel.’
Dusk loomed over Mark, his t-shirt drenched with sweat, his throat parched. Jill was unhappy he’d missed dinner. It didn’t matter. This mattered. Cooper loped back and forth, tail wagging, panting, as Mark unearthed the giant bone. The rounded end was loose. A good pull and it will come out from under the fence. ‘Jill!’ He shouted.
‘What?’
‘Need some help here.’
‘Plan on digging up the whole garden?’
‘Just come here.’
Jill appeared, arms crossed, with a scowl that made Cooper whimper. ‘What?’
‘Look.’
Jill sighed and approached. She gasped. ‘What the hell is that?’
‘A bone,’ Mark said. Cooper wagged his tail.
‘I can see that. What are you doing with it?’
‘We’re going to pull it free. Contact reporters and museums. This is a big find!’ Mark knelt and scratched Cooper behind the ears with both hands. ‘Good boy!’
Cooper barked.
Jill sat on the ledge and dropped into the hole as deep as she was tall, ‘Come on then. Let’s get it out and make our millions.’
Mark dropped in after her, ‘Grab this end and we’ll wiggle it free. Three, two, one, go!’
An hour later and the bone lay on the lawn. Seven foot long and intact. Mark took a dozen photos and emailed local news, national news, museums up and down the country.
‘Here,’ Jill handed Mark a cold one.
‘Thanks.’
‘Where we going to keep it? Can’t leave it here, neighbours’ll steal it. I saw Pete curtain twitching,’ she swigged her beer.
‘Brush it off and take it inside.’
‘It’s late. We have no light. Just take it inside, we’ll clean up tomorrow.’
‘Sounds great,’ Mark stroked Cooper curled up beside him. His phone pinged, it was Melissa from the Herald, “Stories breaking news. Will be round first thing in morning. Have you contacted a museum? Email fees@herald to discuss payment. Regards, Melissa.” ‘Reporter will be round in the morning, let’s get this inside and go to bed.’
Melissa knocked at dawn, overly keen for Mark. He opened the door, yawned, and welcomed her in. ‘Holy shit, that’s the bone!’ She said. Cooper barked and sniffed her hand. ‘Hello! You must be the finder. Good boy!
Mark looked over to the kitchen, one rounded end of the bone sticking through the door, ‘Yep, Cooper found it.’
‘I’m going to take pictures then ask some questions, alright?’
‘Sure,’ Mark yawned. ‘Tea? Coffee?’
‘Coffee, please,’ Melissa chucked a bag on the sofa and pulled out the largest camera Mark had ever seen. She tied her blonde curls back and set to work.
A couple of questions turned into a hundred and before Mark knew it, it was lunch time. ‘Do you want something to eat?’ Jill asked. Her stomach rumbled.
‘No it’s okay. I should get back to the office and type this up. Thanks so much! Drop me an email when the museum confirms it’s really real.’
‘Sure,’ Mark said. Cooper sat at the end of the seven foot long bone, eyes fixed on the door.
Moments after Melissa left the door rang again. ‘She must have forgotten something,’ Mark said.
Jill opened the door, ‘Hello, are you from the museum?’
A man responded monotonically, ‘Yes. We received an email about a massive bone.’
‘In the kitchen. So, what do you have to do?’
‘A few tests down at the lab,’ the man said. Cooper snarled.
Mark appeared from the kitchen. ‘Cooper, quiet.’ Three men in black suits with Smithsonian ID badges, their names blanked out, stood in the hallway. ‘It’s quite big. Hope you brought a van,’ Mark laughed.
‘We’ll manage,’ he said flatly.
‘How long will the tests take?’
‘A few days. We’ll let you know what the results are.’
‘Yeah, please do. The reporter wants to know.’
‘What’s her name and paper? We’ll put together a comment for her,’ his eyes narrowed.
‘Melissa at the Herald.’
‘Thank you. You two, secure the object,’ he said.
Days passed without an email. Then a week, then two. Mark emailed on both Monday’s to no response. Melissa seemed to have vanished too, her email pinged a generic bounce-back. Mark searched his photos, he scrolled up but the bone wasn’t there. He checked all the albums but they’d gone. Panic struck him. He searched his outbox for the emails to Melissa and the museum, both gone too. ‘What the fuck?’
‘What is it, honey?’
‘Do you have photos of the bone?’
‘Let me check,’ Jill checked her phone. ‘No. I swear I…. Didn’t you?’
‘I did but they’re gone,’ Mark typed into his browser search bar for “giant bones Smithsonian”, a top result read “Did the Smithsonian Destroy Thousands of Giant Human Skeletons?” ‘What the hell?’ Mark clicked the link.
Thanks for reading. Hit the heart, subscribe, and share with friends and enemies alike!
A Conspiracy of Bones was partly inspired by the prompt, part satirical conspiracy, and part
’s brilliant The Legend of Si-Te-Cah which reminded me of said conspiracy.If you haven’t read Frank’s story over at Pulp Vitalist, go and check it out now:
Hi Redd, thanks for linking to my story, its really cool that it sparked your imagination like that. I really liked the story here! Excellent job.
Oh wow! All I was thinking was dinosaur bone, but you built that suspense quite well. I had that perfect amount of frustration with the museum visitors as I internally shouted, “WHY ARE THEY ACTING SO WEIRD?!”
Thanks for this story, and for writi BFF with us this month!